Followup
by you'vegotthis
Summary: The appointment that puts it all behind them. One Shot.


He's more than a little disturbed by it, but he doesn't know how to bring it up to her. Kate had already given him the evil eye for one too many overly protective gestures this morning. They've only been sleeping together for less than a fortnight, and it's been amazing. He hopes what he just saw isn't some kind of horrible signal that it's all about to come to an end. And the worst part? He can't even tell her.

She smiles at him as she comes back to her desk, files in hand.

"What's wrong?" It's the first time he hasn't beamed at her in a week.

"Nothing."

"Okay, I know that look, what's going on?" But they're interrupted by her desk phone ringing.

He can hear her conversation with Lanie over the latest victim. The whole time all he can think about is when she's going to make her discovery.

"Lanie says the vic died of," and then he watches her check the screen on her cell, "blunt force trauma," she continues un-phased by her discovery. "So it looks like he was shot, but would have survived if it hadn't been for the fall out the window."

He is positively dismayed. How on earth is she still talking to him like their whole relationship isn't in jeopardy. Like it isn't built on a lie?

"Castle?" He looks in her eyes, "You okay there?"

"Yeah, sure. Fine." He needs coffee, stands to walk away. From her. From their future.

She's on him quickly, following him into the break-room, "Okay, spill."

He occupies himself with the coffee machine. Silently stewing before he finally says, "I don't know Kate, I thought we were in this together."

She crosses her arms and leans a hip against the counter, "I can only assume you mean us and not this case? What makes you think we aren't in this together?"

"Josh," he says accusatorially.

She's taken aback, physically flinches. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm not going to share you, Kate. It's all or nothing. I thought we loved each other." She stops him with a hand on his arm.

"We do love each other," her eyebrows furrow, "what brought this on?"

"I saw your phone screen, Kate. Josh called you."

She laughs a little and it instantly infuriates him. "You mean the missed call just now?"

"Yeah," he says forcefully, "that call, Kate."

Oh. He really is angry.

"Castle, that call isn't from Josh."

"I saw the screen Kate."

"No, you saw his name, but under that it said, 'office.'"

"So?"

"So, Josh's office is the cardiology department at the hospital, that's the general line for my surgeon too, I just entered it in my phone way back when we were dating. They're calling to set up an appointment for a one –year follow-up."

"One year follow up?"

Her eyebrows raise, "One year since I had surgery on my heart. Since I was shot."

"Oh." He deflates before her eyes, embarrassed. He really is pitifully in love with her, which would be endearing if it didn't flash through her mind she looks the same to him.

"So it occurs to me that maybe you'd feel better if you knew how it ended between Josh and I?" She squeezes his arm, finds his fingers and laces them together between them.

He perks up. It's not like he can directly ask her this question.

"He didn't want a broken girlfriend. We weren't enough in love to try to salvage anything and I think it was obvious to both of us that we weren't ever going to be in love. Our relationship never made it out of the hospital." She smiles at him.

His eyes are full of . . . pity? Lost opportunity? Relief?

"I'm sorry I never told you all of that. It didn't end with a bang, but I can't say that I ever really mourned losing him either. I love you, you know? Back then I couldn't handle it all, but I loved you then too."

He pulls her into his arms, holds the back of her neck and kisses her deep and heady with love. Captures her lower lip and savors it a moment. When they break apart he says, "I'm sorry, I was stupid."

"Yeah, well it's not the first time, "she teases.

"Hey," he scolds, "just cause it's true doesn't mean you have to say it." He hugs her close and possessive, and whispers in her ear, "Love you more."

Kate can't help but kiss his ear as she whispers, "second time you've been wrong today."

They break apart and as she leaves the room he presses, "can I come with you?"

"What?"

"Can I come with you to your appointment?"

Okay, this is new territory, a doctor's appointment, they haven't been together long and this seems . . .matrimonial?

"You want to come to the doctor's office with me?"

He nods.

"Okay, that's a little weird, just . . . you want to wait in reception?"

He nods.

"Why?"

"Because I want to. I just . . .I want to."

It's because she shut him out. He wants to know she's okay because she shut him out. Hurt him with it. Of course she can let him have this. It's a drop in the bucket compared with all she owes him.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox oxo

The walk from the parking lot is awkward, she can almost read his thoughts about being in this hospital, about _her_ being in this hospital. When groups of other people step into the elevator, she wraps both hands around his bicep and taps her head against his shoulder. If he didn't love her before, this, right here, would be the moment when he falls.

It's a short wait side-by-side when they call her name.

"Your husband can come too, honey," the grey-haired nurse says.

"No, I'll wait here, thanks." She's glad he doesn't make her decide.

It's a sterile room with a single exam table in the middle and a tiny changing room.

"Just your shirt and bra need to come off, honey, you can hang them in here, put this on so it ties in the front. We'll do an EKG and then the doctor will see you."

It's a little too familiar to be lying here with wires attached and a machine clicking away somewhere nearby. They've left her alone so she'll be calm for the monitor and she feels every bit of the silence. It's an overwhelming feeling, to be trapped like this. She wonders what Castle is doing.

He's close by, but shut out.

She hopes it doesn't disturb the test when she feels that pain in her chest at the realization of how close this is to an analogy for them, for their time apart. For the wound that has only just now started to heal.

"Well Kate Beckett, my favorite GSW survivor," she hears Dr. Holland's grandfatherly voice calling as he enters the room.

"Hey, Dr. Holland." She smiles at him.

They chat about her health, as he listens to her heart and tells her to get dressed and meet him in his office so he has a chance to examine the EKG results.

By the time the nurse comes back to remove the wires, she's decided. This has to have a different ending.

"When I meet with the doctor, could you ask my . . . my husband to come in?" _It's just easier to explain him to her this way_, she assures herself.

"Sure thing, honey."

He's already seated in front of Dr. Holland's desk when she comes in, catching the tail-end of the conversation.

"She's always been a fighter," Castle is saying to the doctor, looks up to smile at her as she sits beside him.

"Well Kate, you okay with this guy hearing our discussion?"

She nods.

"EKG shows normal, a far cry from most of the patients I see. Everything looks like it has healed properly, your scars aren't an interruption to daily activity."

She can hear Castle thinking. She's thinking too.

"Everything looks good, no problems at all."

"Good," she says, picking up Castle's hand off his lap and moving it to her lap.

"In fact, although I'd love to see you again, I don't think it is necessary for your health."

She smiles at him, "Fantastic."

"Of course, if you want to get rid of this guy, I could make an excuse, " Dr. Holland says with a wink.

"I'll have to think about that, "she replies quickly.

"Hey!" He squeezes her fingers.

"Josh is back in Haiti," the doctor offers, unprompted, "Doctors Without Borders, he'll be back at Christmas."

"Oh," she says, her smile fading to a false one, "I'm sure he's valuable there."

"Certainly. Certainly," he senses her discomfort and graciously ends their conversation, "Well, I'm sure you have other places to be. I'll let you go."

"Thank you so much for all that you did for me." She shakes the doctor's hand, standing.

"My pleasure, Kate."

He's slightly overwhelmed as he shakes the doctor's hand, can only mumble a quick, "thank you doctor." This guy kept her from dying. In the process he's kept Castle alive vicariously. As he follows Kate to the door, he turns back, "really, thank you for saving her life."

"My pleasure," the doctor repeats, not touching the depth of the Writer's depth of emotion.

When they reach the reception area she turns to him, wraps her arms around his neck, "You were wrong, again." He's still too overwhelmed by his thoughts from the last exchange to handle a new one.

"How's that?" his voice is a little off.

"He didn't save my life, you did." She pecks his lips.

"Oh yeah?" he smiles.

"You and your death bed confessionals. Couldn't die letting you have the last word."

"Good, then I'm going to have the last word all the time -love you."


End file.
